I am living in Korea with my Korean fiance that I support financially. We were planning to move to America last year. During the medical check, they diagnosed her with tuberculosis. She took medication for 6 months that made her feel “strange.” She wasn’t tired at night, but tired all day. (Being unemployed would do that to me too!) They said she could work, but she didn’t feel well enough…
It’s been 4 months since she finished her medication, and she can’t keep a job for more than a few weeks. In the last 9 months, she’s applied to about 20 jobs, had about 15 interviews, and accepted to about 5 jobs. She lasts a few days, maybe a month, then quits! Excuses are: no water cooler, people are too nosey, office is too dirty, people are fake, people are not nice, too far away, not enough money, they want me to serve food, no bathroom, (have to go to the restaurant next door,) too much work, not enough work, tedious work, too much time talking on the phone, etc.
She doesn’t like the fact that I want her to work after having tuberculosis. She never had any symptoms. She took the medication and is finished! She says she wants a full year break from work to make sure she is not going to get sick again…
She agreed to study English to prepare for living in America. Her English is pretty poor unfortunately. We got some books from the library, they were too boring and difficult for her. Then we went to the book store and bought an easy one she liked. After taking it home, she says that the CD is too confusing, and you need it to do the lessons. So now we have bought a second book. She has studied probably a total of three hours in 9 months. She wants me to teach her English. I tell her that she needs to put in some effort first. Take the time to study, and I will help her with the work. I will not hold her hand and do the work-book for her.
I moved back to Korea to teach kindergarten English for her. I am sacrificing my career to sing songs to little snot machines and wondering if I’m a sucker!! (The kids are cute, it’s an easy job, but I don’t want to be in Korea.) In order for me to get a job that can support a family, I need to work in America. I don’t speak enough Korean to get an office job.
I love her. She has a big kind heart. She is always honest, forgiving, and caring. She is willing to sacrifice her whole life in Korea to be with me. She doesn’t care about money or America. She truly loves me and wants to make me happy.
I don’t care about the money that she can make by working. It’s not the point. I have done many jobs in my life that I didn’t want to do. (Including the one I’m in right now!) It bugs me that she doesn’t want to do the same…
She thinks I’m selfish and full of greed for make such a big deal out of it. It’s a bad subject that is discussed every day. I’ve threatened to leave her if she can’t keep a job. That was a bad, hostile approach. I’m learning you can’t push someone to do something they don’t want. She says she wants to work so that she can have extra spending money. She just can’t find anything that works for her…
We have only three more months in Korea before we leave. Without a second income, we won’t be able to travel to China for vacation. She wants this as well as I. She also wants a diamond ring and some new dresses! She understands that I can’t provide those things right now… not on my own…
I love her, and I want it to work, but I am also very stressed and angry at this situation. It’s strange how girls with jobs look SUPER attractive now.